Daily Routines Are A Must!
A key factor to unlocking your inner happiness is one of the simplest, yet hardest things: routine.
Now, you may be rolling your eyes and saying yuck in your head, but here me out. There are countless studies on the importance of routine when managing your day. So many of the great life coaches and gurus of modern and ancient times have preached about routine. So put your rolling eyes away and let’s talk about it.
Routine, what is it? It is not a schedule that you must stick you by certain times of certain days. A routine is a set of rituals performed for certain tasks.
With ADHD I have found that SCHEDULES are nearly impossible to stick to as my brain resets every day, so every day is different, however, routines, that is where my brain is happy, happy, happy. Do they suck, you betcha. They suck hard, and as much as I wish I could tell you that after a while the routine becomes brainless, well—I was going to say it’s not true, but that wouldn’t be quite right. To get going on any task is difficult, but once I get started on my routine it becomes like driving autopilot. I still must put my brain on autopilot, but once I’m there, it’s smooth sailing.
Let me give you a personal example. This last week I took my kids to southern California with my brother’s family, and we stayed with my Grandma. After we got back from our vacation I found that my life had become gray and boring again, without happiness or umph. Why? Was it because we came back with a cold? Maybe. Was it because vacations with kids are exhaustingly hard? Maybe. However, the real reason is that we got back on a Sunday, we didn’t go to church, we felt kinda gross from our colds, so we just lounged around and did nothing all day. We did not have any semblance of a routine.
On our trip every morning the kids would wake up at 7:30. They would watch cartoons till 8am. They then would go downstairs and eat some breakfast while watching the morning news with Great Grandma. After breakfast they would color at the breakfast table until I kicked them out to play in the orchard till 11 while I packed up the car for whatever adventure we were going on that day. At 11 we would say bye to Great Grandma, hop in the car and meet my brother and his family at the beach, theme park, water park, etc.. At 4 we would pack up and go back to Great Grandma’s house. The kids would play outside while I made dinner. At 6 we would eat. From 6:30-7:30 the kids would play while the adults chatted. Then at 8 it would be time to clean up and get ready for bed.
Now, I understand that with the times this looks like a schedule, but the magic of this is that it in fact has nothing to do with the times, it has to do with the routine. Let me clarify:
We woke up, watched a cartoon, ate breakfast at the table, the kids played outside (even if it was raining), we LEFT to go somewhere, we came back had food, had play time, had bed time. Pretty simple. When we got back…we had none of that, and thus the bla feeling blanketed up.
What is the importance of routine:
It’s an autopilot mode for your brain. It’s predictable and reliable. It didn’t matter if we left at 9 am for Universal Studios, or noon for the beach, the actions leading up were the same, predictable and reliable.
It is an indicator to your brain of the action to follow. Example: after eating at the breakfast table it was time to play. After eating dinner it was time to play. Food=play. After playtime it was cleanup time: playtime=cleanup time. Cleanup time meant that fun was over and it was time to go to bed: cleanup=bedtime routine initiated. Did it matter what time all of these things happened? Nope!
Limits anxiety because it is predictable. I found this especially helpful with my kids. “Ahhhh, no I don’t want to go to bed, I want to keep playing!” “well, we have already cleaned up. What happens after cleanup?” “bedtime.” And kid goes upstairs to brush teeth.
Now that I am back to reality I need to think of what my brain needs for my normal everyday routines. Here are my tentative routines to have a successful day everyday:
Morning: wakeup, affirmations, day planning, brush teeth, shower, put clothes and shoes on, wake the kids up, make breakfast, 1 cartoon, take kids to school.
After I take kids to school: walk dogs around park, 7 minutes workout, dishes, vacuum, laundry, work.
Work: blog article, figure out posting, marketing
After School: make kids snacks, pick kids up and take to activities, 30 minutes of homework in order of: Lexia, reading, writing, math. Playtime till 5:30. 5:30-6:16 kids get tablet time while I make dinner. Dinner. Playtime. Cleanup. Get backpacks reads and by the door. Pick out tomorrow’s outfit. Bedtime.
I’ll modify as needed. Realize that I kept my routines very simple and basic as not to overwhelm myself with steps. Notice that I did not say: roll out of bed, stand up, walk to the bathroom, do my business, walk back out, sit on floor, open mindfulness app, click on…blab la bla. Nope, I kept it simple, basic, easy to remember.
Now it is time for you to do some reflecting. In your head, or write it out, what do your days tend to look like? Are you running around in chaos yelling at your kids to hurry and get in the car or you will be late for work? Are you wasting away days scrolling but not getting anything productive done? What routine can you adopt to help you on your happiness journey? Start simple. What do you want to get done in a day? What basic things can you add to already existing routines to accomplish what you want to accomplish? Do you have a hard time not going back to bed after you go to the bathroom in the morning? Then would something like this work for you: wake up, on the way to the bathroom, grab your warm cozy comforter and throw it down the stairs. Wrapping up in in and falling back to sleep will be much harder now wont it? Do you have a hard time showering in the morning? As soon as you walk into the bathroom in the morning take your clothes off, start the shower, then do your toilet business while the shower is warming up, your naked booty will be more than happy to jump in a warm shower. You catch my drift? Let me know in the comment section what your routines are and some tips and tricks for those that need some inspiration. Go get ‘em!